It was my turn to cook dinner today. I started feeling really upset partway through. The food wasn't as good as I would have liked and I just new I would be made fun of because my last 2 dinners were also bad. It's like I spontaneously forgot how to cook. I just made some tofu slurry and salt pickled cucumber and went immediately to bed without speaking to anyone.
I wouldn't be surprised if this is part of the episode the other day where I found myself wondering why nobody noticed I died. It wasn't some death anxiety hypothetical this time, I was just doomscrolling and was confused that nobody was posting about me since I just died. It was a really disturbing feeling and again I immediately went to bed. It's the only coping mechanism I have since it was ingrained into me that nobody cares and I should stop wasting valuable material.
I guess this is journaling maybe?? I don't know I've never done it